


Vivere, Ridere, Amare

by noconceptoflife



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Domestic Bliss, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Found Family, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Polyamory, Pre-Canon, Rating will change, small-town shenanigans, yeza and veth know whats up well before Caleb
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:08:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21528814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noconceptoflife/pseuds/noconceptoflife
Summary: When the tithe collector comes, they pay taxes as if they are all married to each other. It's easier than saying that Caleb is taking advantage of their kindness and that when Veth found him in a river and he almost melted her face off.(AU where Caleb meets the Brenattos soon after leaving the asylum and hides with them in plain sight)
Relationships: Nott/Caleb Widogast, Veth Brenatto/Caleb Widogast, Veth Brenatto/Yeza Brenatto, Yeza Brenatto/Caleb Widogast, Yeza Brenatto/Nott/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 127
Kudos: 496





	1. lunae lumen

**Author's Note:**

> This is gonna be really long since it has almost five years of domestic bliss to cover.
> 
> Once again unbeta'ed so if you see an error or a strange phrasing lemme know. Or don't and just ignore it lol.

Bren has no idea where he is, other than that every step he takes is a step further from the hell that he crawled out of. It's surprising he's lasted this long, but when all he wants is to go away each step feels closer to salvation. He'll never reach it, but he can pretend, and pretending keeps warmth in his stomach and determination in his bones. 

The river is a godsend, truly. He considers for a minute in the treeline. But the need to try and wash some of the desperation off wins, and he starts to unsnap the buttons of his coat as he staggers up to the riverbank. He strips down to his trousers and kicks his shoes off and casts a quick spell, little globules of light spitting out to surround him. He leaves one on his things, casting strange shadows that he's already too paranoid to worry about. Bren wades in until he's up to his waist and out of the river's vegetation before he sinks down to his knees. The cool water soothes his irritated skin for the moment. He'll throw himself around in the grass when he gets out so people keep ignoring him, but now he sticks his face in the water. He's so pale, and has yet to acclimate to being out and about yet, and has a very light sunburn over anything exposed to the daylight. 

His skin still itches and he wants to tear himself open until he's ribbons washed clean in the current but he can't. Not yet. His spellbook is safe, tucked deep and wrapped in several layers on the bank. He dunks his head and scrubs his fingers through his hair, hoping some of the grime and sweat will come out before he ties it back up. He resurfaces and takes a deep breath, letting the smell of freshwater and sand and river plants fill his lungs.

"You look like you've had the worst day of your life." Says a voice only a few scant feet from Bren.

He whips around, hands lighting upon instinct. "Don't come ANY closer!" He snarls. Why can't he see anyone? Are they invisible? He pulls the lights out from his pack, trying to find the source of the sound.

"Okay." The voice says, now softer and afraid. "Look, we are in a river, and neither of us has a shirt on. Pretty embarrassing way to die, huh?"

Bren angles his hands down to where he can see the source of the voice.

It's the upper half of a woman's face, except he must be seeing her wrong because the water here is only waist-deep and she doesn't look like she's sitting down. Big brown eyes look up at him, and a long brown braid floats in the water around her. The night is dark and all he can see in the water is the reflection of the fingernail-thin moon and stars. This is wrong, though. Even her head is smaller. Is this woman actually a child? No, she's got the face of an adult, the body of an adult but compressed, a woman in a little under three feet.

Oh, of course. She must be of the smaller races.

He braces his hands again, glaring at her, ready to throw fire at a second's notice. "Who sent you?"

"Who- okay, look." She shifts, and her chin comes out of the water as she cricks her face back to look at him. "Whoever you are, I don't care, okay? I don't have anything valuable on me except my crossbow and its-" She winces at the flash of his fire getting brighter. "-by my stuff still on the riverbank."

"How do I know you're not going to run to the guards as soon as you get out of sight?" Bren asks.

"I'm not a narc!" The woman scoffs. "I'm due some time before I become a pearl-clutcher like my mother in law. I'm not gonna call the guards on some homeless beggar with a stolen spellbook."

The statement sounds so benign and true that he can't help but believe her. He might as well go with her incorrect assumption as for who and what he is, too. He still hesitates, not sure if he can trust that she's not going to run off and spread the news of a strange dangerous redhead human man that can use magic.

"Look, how about we get dressed and stop standing here talking to each other naked?" She says.

He wants to laugh. Who the hell is this woman? "I'm not naked." Bren defends himself, but the flames in his hand flicker out.

" _ Well, I am _ ! Now be polite and look away." She orders.

Bren is torn as she starts walking away towards the riverbank. On one hand, this can all be an elaborate ruse and she's going to kill him as soon as he takes his eyes off of her. On the other hand, the water is up to her waist now and she is, in fact, naked. He decides to look away and walks back to his own things, quickly overlapping her with his long legs.

In the moment it takes for him to pull his shirt on, she has a dress on and is sitting on the riverbank. She's calmly undoing her wet braid and letting dark hair spill over her shoulder, fixated on finishing what Bren interrupted. She has a bag -he hadn't noticed it, he is so stupid- and has a comb in her hand that she's running through her tresses.

"What is the name of your home?" Bren asks. Looking in the distance, he can see the lights of a place that could be a medium-sized village.

"Felderwin. Small town. Mostly halflings." She shrugs. "You still do look like you've had the worst day in the world. Who are you?"

He can't trust her, even if she says she isn't a narc, no matter how disarmed he feels. "Lost my job a year ago, and I keep getting chased out of towns once they get enough of my begging."

"You got a name?"

Now he has to pick something and pulls a name from his repository. "Caleb." He says, and he dons the name immediately. He's had some difficulties, but remembering fake names is not one of them.

"Any surname?”

"Nein." He says.

"Nine?"

"It- it means no, sorry." Caleb coughs. "It's Zemnian."

"From up north, then! What's your home village?"

"No, I'm from Rexxingtrum, but my parents were Zemnian and raised me with it." He tacks on another lie. His name is Caleb with no surname from Rexxingtrum with Zemnian parents.

"Well, Caleb, it's nice to meet you even if you were about to make me into a roast. My name is Veth Brenatto, I was born and raised in Felderwin, and I've got an alchemist for a husband and a four-month-old baby." She braids her hair back up, still wet but combed. "My little boy's old enough to sleep through the night, so my husband told me to get some time to myself by the river since he knows I love it here."

It's so domestic and sweet-sounding it aches. "Congratulations are in order I suppose?"

"Thank you." Veth nods and digs through her pack further and pulls out a square of linen. She unwraps it, and Bren can't help but lock his eyes on the mound of food she has with her. It looks like some kind of meatloaf, sandwiched between a flat bread. "Have you eaten yet?"

It feels like a trap, but he hasn't had anything home-cooked in years. "I shouldn't take your food." He says anyways.

"These are leftovers, Caleb. I brought it with me because I expected to have a long soak and I spent most of dinner tonight trying to calm my energetic baby." She says and flicks her wet hair at him.

He takes it and thinks that if it's poisoned it's the best smelling poison he's smelled in a while. He eats in small bites, sitting on the wet sand next to a strange halfling woman who thinks he's a simple beggar with a stolen spellbook. It really is the best thing he's had in some time, and he tries to not obviously steal glances at the woman. She has big brown eyes and brown skin and darker brown hair but it's all the same color in the moonlight. She's wet and in just a dress and he's struck by how strange and intimate this situation is, because he's also wet and in only one layer of clothing. And she's staring at him still, watching him eat, and what's so interesting about him eating? It doesn't make his skin crawl like most people's looks do.

He figures it's because she went right out and said she wasn't a narc.

"Thank you." He says when he's done. Now he actually is hungry with a belly half-full instead of the plain pang of an empty stomach. "Do you make a habit of giving some regular beggar food?"

Veth's mouth quirks in a clever smile. "If you were a regular beggar you'd have robbed me blind once you saw I was unarmed and ran for my things, leaving me to run naked in the middle of the night."

She has him there, and it's a smart observation.

"While you're in town, what do you need? Maybe I can point you towards the right place." Veth suggests.

"Any more cooking like that." Caleb says, and then has to remember he isn't some country bumpkin yearning for the tastiest roast in town anymore, no matter how many times it jumps up. To her, he's a city boy. "Or a bookstore."

"I have more back at home, you can have it if you don't have anything else to eat before going into town. I'd have just eaten it tomorrow and I can always make more." Veth says.

It's plain kindness, or it's the most genius trap in the world.

His stomach rumbles. He can say no, steal food later, forget this strange clever woman and ditch town once he notices anything strange. He's only been on the run for a while, even with his amulet he can't be sure that they're not just playing games with him.

Veth gets up and pulls her still-wet braids behind her shoulders. She throws the bag over her shoulder and starts walking towards town. She doesn't look back, her shoulders square and steady as she moves.

Caleb wonders why he even bothers. Say this is a trap, what will they do? Torture him more? This is one of the few gut feelings he's had in a while that don't spell doom. He isn't sure if this is out of kindness, or pity, but it's free food and if she means to poison him he would already be dead. So he follows her, keeping at least ten paces behind her, even as they enter the town and Caleb wants to keep to the shadows. He doesn't need to bother, as Veth cling to the shadows for him. It's a strange counter to the woman who stared him down while he was waving fire in her face, to walk with her head down and avoiding any people who might be out this late at night. Was it for him? But she never even looks back, she can't know that he's taking her up on his offer.

This might be a good time to ditch her, actually. What are the odds that she'll seek him out again? She's a woman with a husband and child, surely she can't be that interested in helping him. And it still might be a trap. But then, what's the point? If it's a trap and they kill him, then he'll die warm and with a stomach full of good food. He quickens his steps, following her closer now, and the way she cocks her head to the side makes him think she knows he's following her now.

He feels like a stalker, but it was her invitation and now that he's this far he's not about to run off now.

She goes down the edge of the house to a side door, and here Caleb can see that she has the kind of shop that's a shop in the front, and then the house in the back. It's one level, but large for a townhouse. She steps up, unlocks the door, and finally looks back. "Shoes off before you walk around inside."

He toes his boots off as she ordered and glances about, eyes slightly acclimated to the darkness. It looks like a common area, with a little dining area, a sitting area perhaps for company, and then a kitchen set up around a large hearth. He can see doors along the outside of the room, which he supposes leads to other rooms. It's the kind of place that would have made him as a ten year old jealous and eager to explore, considering his family-

Caleb shuts down that line of thought. If he started thinking about his home he'd have a breakdown, and he can't do that in front of his host.

Veth busies herself in what looks like the remains of dinner, stacking dishes into a small tub and pushing it to the side. Then she wanders back over to him and nudges his calf to get him to sit down. He does so, and she pushes a plate into his hands. It's more cold meatloaf with cold gravy, slightly congealed, but it's still the best thing he's tasted in years. There's a hunk of bread too, but Caleb ignores it. Anything in his stomach that isn't protein or fat might as well not exist to him. Bread isn't hard to get, and when one steals enough bread it all starts to taste the same.

He's so focused he doesn't notice what Veth is doing around him. It strikes him as stupid, so stupid because this woman doesn't know him and no favor comes without a price. He figures he can run as soon as his stomach is full, but…

Caleb is so tired.

"I set up a little sleeping area for you, Caleb." Veth says. "You're welcome for breakfast, and then you can head into town if that's what you want." She pats his shoulder. "But also put your dishes in the tub or I'll be cross with you."

She scurries out of sight, ducking in a door to the side to where he assumes her bedroom must be. And her husband, too. Caleb feels like the man should know that there's a strange human in his house. It's so stupid, and it's could still be a trap. Caleb resists the siren call of the sleeping area Veth made for him as he puts his dishes away. It's three halfling-sized bedrolls layered out to fit him, with clean sheets and pillows, and just looking at them makes his body ache. He knows there's a chance he'll wake up to guards, or a dagger to his throat, or crownsguard coming to pull him back to Rexxingtrum and into hell. Now's a perfect time to ditch these people. He can leave with a full stomach and find somewhere to sleep and he can continue putting distance between him and the asylum.

He's a weak man. He's passed out after less than a minute of laying down.


	2. sapo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again unbeta'ed so if you see an error or something that looks wrong pretend it isn't there. Caleb's still anxious! Poor guy. Also there's talk of breastfeeding all throughout the fic and talk about the birthing process at the end. You've been warned!

When Caleb wakes up, it's to the feeling of a foot treading on his fingers and then a knee to his back as a figure trips over him.

He's awake in a second, his fist clenching around a firebolt that he's ready to hurl into someone's face before running. Then he blinks and he's in a strange woman's kitchen and he thinks of how rude it would be to ruin it. So he relaxes his hand and props himself up on an elbow while the man gets up from his tumble.

"Uh." The man says. "Who are you?"

Veth never said his name, or Caleb would know it. As it is, the man isn't what Caleb was expecting. Then, Caleb doesn't know what he was expecting. He's a halfling like Veth with messy brown hair, sideburns, and a large nose. Where Veth is tan, he is pale, and exactly as soft as she is. He wears glasses, the kind with thick lenses that can take being dropped or misplaced.

"You're the alchemist, yes? I'm Caleb." He introduces himself.

The alchemist blinks at him, rightfully put off by the casualness in Caleb's tone. "I'm an alchemist but I'm not the only one- why are you in my living room?"

Caleb flops back so his eyes are on the ceiling, away from mister alchemist. "Your wife let me stay the night." He says.

"Oh. Oh, okay? I'll... ask her about it then." Caleb can't see the man's expression as the man creeps back to the pair of doors down the wall. It's not their bedroom since the halfling leaves the room in a minute with a bundle in his arms. He closes the doors behind him so Caleb is alone in the room.

Once again, he thinks he should leave. He can out while they're talking and take to the road with a satiated stomach and a good comfortable night of sleep to propel him for a good amount of time. He sits up, stretching his arms above his head so a line of pops goes down his spine. The sigh he lets out feels like it comes from deep in his stomach. He wouldn't mind slumping back down and sleeping another few hours. It'd be nice to sink back into the dreamless oblivion and chance waking up feeling even better than he does now.

That hope gets dashed in a second when the door opens and Veth steps through. She has the bundle pressed to her chest, and Caleb averts his eyes. She's covered, with the bundle swaddled so the baby's secure against her and is a shapeless lump against her breast, but he still feels... strange. It strikes him then, how little he's been around babies. He was the only child of his parents, and thus never had any younger siblings to watch over or any adult women that were still nursing around him. His mother's friends who did have babies he'd been glad to stay away from. He wonders if it's rude to make a deal of her breastfeeding, or if it's right to keep averting his eyes.

"Up with you." Veth says. "It's almost daybreak and we open the store in an hour. We have bread and butter and apple butter if you'll have it, and if you want anything else ask and I'll see."

"My name's Yeza, by the way." The man introduces himself. No further questions follow, something Caleb finds strange.

He's up in a second to help Veth with breakfast. At their halfling-sized table he sits on the floor with his legs crossed, a pillow stuffed under him. Their halfling-sized chairs would cramp his legs up anyways, so this isn't so bad, even as he has to plant his elbows on the table so as not to keep bumping into it. Neither of his hosts seem to mind, so he assumes they'll let it slide.

Heavily buttered bread with apple butter once again tastes like the best thing he's had in years, and it may well be exactly that. Good bread, good butter, and something fruity is a luxury that he's sorely missed. Neither of the two seem to be interested in early-morning conversation, so they eat and Caleb wonders at the strange sounds the baby is making. Is that what breastfeeding sounds like, then? Veth mostly looks sleepy and a little disgruntled, glaring down at the bundle with such love in the way only a parent can. He hides the smile behind another bite of bread, polishing off his second piece. He wants more, but isn't sure if he should, so he doesn't.

He wants to run again, but feels as if it's too late in the day to do so. He'll reconsider later, once they're all asleep again and he can make an escape quietly. However, if he's going to stay for the day, he wants to make himself useful.

"If you want to help, you can either help me in the store or Yeza in the lab." Veth says.

Caleb thinks that manning the store is a terrible idea. He might as well paint a target on his back and invite Veth to go back on her no-narc policy. He’s also not sure about the lab, and Veth cocks her head to the side at his expression.

“Maybe stay back here?” Veth suggests. “Clean up a little. You any good at cooking?”

He winces again. 

She hums. “What about organizing?”

That at least Caleb can do. He nods.

“I’ve been needing to organize the kitchen more. How about you just do that then? It’ll make it easier for us and it saves me an afternoon of work.” She nods. 

It’s good mind-numbing work. For a newlywed couple with a baby, they don’t have as much as he would think, but it’s good to get cleaning and organizing. There’s some things he can’t identify, special baking pans and utensils and something that he’s sure is actually a thermometer but it goes from zero to fourteen. He resolves to ask about it later.

What does not need organizing needs cleaning, and Caleb gets to work on that as well. He can hear people come and go in the storefront which is more of a problem than he thought it would be. At some point he tenses so hard he whacks his head on one of their lower counters, where he was trying to fish out a cutting board that got pushed to the back.

He washes everything with a thin crumbly soap that gets the grime out. He’ll have to haul more water for them later, but tries to make the one basin stretch as far as possible until he’s on the last of it, with the water grey and scum forming a circle around the edge.

“Caleb, can you come out here?” Veth calls back towards him. He leaves the pot full of studs behind as he follows the call of her voice. He can suck it up for her, since it’s by her grace that he isn’t on the streets right now.

He slumps down behind the main counter beside Veth while Yeza restocks the shelves. Caleb doesn't feel safe here, in the open where anyone can walk in. This isn't a large town, and news travels fast. And if he gets caught, will this family suffer for harboring him? He can imagine it now, their home wreathed in flames while he's unable to do anything to stop the screaming once again. He needs to go. He can't put these people in danger, can't forgive himself if he leads to another family's downfall.

"You look like you're thinking up a storm. Did you hit your head?" Veth asks.

Caleb startles. Veth has the baby in her arms, feeding it again, and Caleb quickly looks away. "I am fine." Caleb says. "I'm just thinking- that I should head out soon, you know?"

"You can leave whenever you want, though I would ask you to stay another few hours while I run some errands once my boy is finished." Veth says. "I have some business to do at the guild."

"How often does he need to feed?" Caleb asks. "Wait- there's a guild in town?"

"Eight times a day." Veth says. "I try to keep that regular, and he goes fast. It was worse when he was a newborn, he'd never properly finish and he was always a little hungry." With that the baby lets go of her with a gurgle. She lifts him up to pat his chest and fixes her top, and moves a pin from one dresses strap to the other. At his look she explains. "I have this pin here to remind me which one he hasn't nursed on yet."

"Which was my idea." Yeza calls from behind one of the shelves. "She would forget and then overfeed from one and have them both hurting."

Veth rolls her eyes. "Yes, Yeza is very smart, we know."

They both chuckle, and Caleb thinks that they're a good match. It's a good sign when couples can make fun of each other and not take it to heart.

"Anyways, the guild." The baby burps as his mother speaks. "Technically yes. Yeza is part of the alchemist's guild but I'm part of the merchant's guild. There's no alchemist guild in town, but there is one for the merchants guild. They handle orders and distant buyers for us for a small fee and in return, we get cheaper and hassle-free shipping and importing. I've got to pick up some new glassware and drop off a lot of cough tonic that's going out to the more distant farms in a few days. Shouldn't take me more than an hour or two, and I'd like you two to watch Luc."

Caleb blanks. "Uh?"

"No problem." Yeza says.

"Good!" Veth sets Luc down in his cradle and picks up a bag that Caleb hasn't seen until now. "Both of you behave while I'm gone." She says.

To Caleb, she turns and points a finger at him. "And you." She says. "I meant what I said last night, Caleb. I won't tell anyone where you came from or how I found you, so what's the story?"

It's a good question, and Caleb leans forward towards her. "Do you have any distant human families you're friends with?"

"No." Veth taps her chin in thought. "Perhaps I can say that you're a contact of mine, and so you're here because you're my friend and are helping me with the store?"

It's a good idea. "What if someone looks into it?" Caleb asks.

Yeza pokes his head out of the shelves, not offering anything, just listening with his eyes flicking between the two of them.

"No one will, but even then, we can go with the truth somewhat to make it easier. Say that you've been looking for something to get your foot back in the door after your lost your job in Rexxingtrum? So you came to me because you did some off-the-books work for us and you're here until you can get an idea of what to do?" Veth suggests.

Caleb glances at Yeza and speaks for his sake. "You're very trusting."

"If you wanted to hurt or rob us you would have done so already." Veth asserts. Yeza ducks back behind the shelves and Caleb wishes that he could understand his expression.

On her way out, Yeza snags her by the strap of her bag and gives her a kiss before she leaves. Caleb averts his eyes again. It's not because he finds it inappropriate but that it sits sour in his stomach. Out of the two -three if you counted the baby- of them, he already leans heavier towards liking Veth the best. There's still the chance that she might come back with guards to drag him away, but she's different isn't she? A part of him wants to follow her out of that door, so he doesn't have to be alone with her husband and baby. He wants to stick by her side and have her show him the town, make him a new regular part of her routine and give him another reason to stay. Since no one in town has seen him yet it should be easier to slip away without notice. After all, showing up at Veth's side once and then never showing his face again is more suspicious, so why not do it a few times?

Veth closes the door behind her and Caleb deflates, breath leaving him in a long gust. He stays perched behind the counter, Luc's cradle within reach, and Yeza still out of sight.

He wants to ask Yeza what he thinks. How does he feel about having his wife plot openly with Caleb? Putting their family and business in danger can't be an easy thing for him to accept, can it? Saying it out loud might make it more of a reality, so he puts it off. Perhaps Yeza is used to Veth doing this, and she regularly invites magic-learned homeless vagrants into her home. It's doubtful, but it's easy to make himself believe something improbable than be upset at what's likely.

The baby makes a noise, and out of the corner of his eye, Caleb can see a chubby arm start to wave about from the bundle of blankets. Caleb can't help it and peeks over the edge of the small cradle. With nothing to do and no one to distract him, he pokes at the blanket and peels it to the side.

Caleb hasn't seen many babies in his life, but this one is so small he struggles to wrap his head around it. Gods help him, this baby isn't an infant but is still somehow nine whole inches if he's being generous. Veth said his name was Luc. Then again, Caleb shouldn't assume that it's a boy. For all he knows Luc is a girl's name in halfling and he's assuming based on how humans name their children.

"He's adorable, isn't he?" Yeza prompts, suddenly at Caleb's elbow.

Well, that solves that question before he can ask. "Mm." Caleb nods and the baby squirms, knocking into Caleb's hand with a tiny fist. "He's four months old, yes?"

"He is!" Yeza's eyes wrinkle with the force of his smile. "He's small for his age, but he's so full of energy."

The baby squirms some more, and Caleb moves to pull the blanket back over him so he doesn't chill. He doesn't offer anything else to say but lays a finger on a chubby cheek. He hopes he's not bothering the baby, or that his finger isn't cold for it, or-

"Do you want to hold him?" Yeza asks.

He very much wants to hold him, but Caleb is also sure that if he touches this baby any further he's going to fuck up. "I don't know." He says instead.

"I was the same way when he was born. I thought, well, Veth did all the work didn't she, she knows better than I do. Then twenty minutes after he was born Veth shoved him into my arms so the midwife could help her..." He winces. "Well, you know what comes out after the baby?"

"I don't need the details." Caleb knows what that means.

"Anyways, I think this kind of nervousness is best dealt with when someone else makes the decision for you." And with that, Yeza scoops Luc out of his cradle and pushes him into Caleb's arms. "Support his head, will you?"

That's how Veth finds them forty-five minutes later, with Caleb sitting still and Luc's spit-up all over the front of his coat. In those forty-five minutes he's learned that babies are both disgusting and addictive. Disgusting, because Luc spits up all over him and Caleb is glad that his body can handle this. Addictive, because Luc's tiny hand can't wrap all the way around even his smallest finger. Is that something all babies have? Is it magic? Or is it nature? Either way, Caleb knows he has to stay for at least another night to get this sudden baby fever out of his system. It's a quick, easy excuse.

He tells Veth as much. "I'm going to steal your baby."

"If you grow teats and can nurse him in my place you're welcome to." She says and pats his shoulder. "Go wash up before dinner, will you?"

He does as she says. It hasn't led him astray yet.


	3. dubito

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still ain't got a beta and I hate doing more than one edit of my work, so if you see something that's spelled wrong or a weird phrasing pretend it's actually good. Also it has come to my attention that the timeline is a little off and Luc was born quite a while after Veth and Yeza got married, while in this fic Luc was born seven months after they got married. He's weirdly healthy for a baby that premature, huh ;)?

Two weeks pass.

He has an excuse for every day, each one more flimsy than the last. He needs to clean his clothes and let them dry overnight. He needs to finish repairing the damaged parts of his spellbook before hiding it again. He needs to help Veth with her sewing project to help payback for her generosity. On and on, and the whole time he doesn't take a step out of their house.

He finds things to do. It's cleaning. He does it top to bottom. He washes clothes and linens, pots and pans, and sets to tackle Veth's collection.

Veth's collection is interesting because it's all based on things that would usually be useless. On one wall there's a string of sticks. Handles of old brooms, actual sticks from a tree, old canes, and one handle that was part of a puppet. There are holes drilled through them, strung through and hung on the wall like a ladder with no space between the rungs. They aren't polished, so Caleb takes care when wiping them clean of dust to make sure he isn't setting them up for rot or mold. When he asks, she tells him it's her stick collection. She does not elaborate.

A cabinet with a glass front crammed full with teapots is another. There's one shaped like a dragon, and when Caleb uses it the steam leaks out of the nose. That one is Yeza's favorite. There's another one that's of a man smoking, and the steam comes out of the pipe which is Veth's favorite. Caleb's favorite is the cat-shaped one that looks like a fat Frumpkin, where the steam comes out of the mouth like it's hissing. He uses it in the morning to the point Veth has stopped putting it back when he's done. He's in no place to get the materials to bring Frumpkin back into his life, so he pines for the cat in the meantime through a lot of tea drinking.

There are several jars full of animal teeth that she gets from local hunters. They do it as a source of quick money, exchanging teeth for coppers at a time that would otherwise go to waste. As Veth says. Caleb isn't so sure she doesn't do it herself by rummaging through their carcasses. He has no proof other than she reeks of blood whenever she adds to her collection, but hunters tend to carry that with them.

She has plates of different sizes and quality on the walls which she never takes down or uses. Some of those plates have other baubles glued to them, like marbles or glitter. Caleb has another suspicion that she does that as an excuse to keep buying dishes, but once again he has no proof.

Veth also likes cloth, with random squares of it forming a massive quilt spread across the floor of Luc's bedroom. She has other quilts, spread on furniture or as small rugs. She makes most of them from her old dresses, and can make new ones quick as can be. One of those old dresses Caleb uses as a pillowcase. Veth has dozens of old dresses there isn't a single spare pillowcase in the whole house.

She has a plethora of bottles. Most are empty wine and whiskey bottles that she fills with colored sand or seashells or anything else that catches her fancy. Veth complains often of Luc's forcing her abstinence from wine and whiskey, as it might go through her breast milk. Not that she believes that, but Yeza does and it's one of the few things he puts his foot down over. Caleb could back Yeza up on that, but he has no desire to earn her ire.

Most of all, she has buttons. They're sewn onto most of the furniture, strung up across the wall, glued along the legs of the table and chairs. Where there is a bit of empty space that isn't taken up by another bauble, there's a button.

She's very particular about her collection, and so Caleb takes extra care when cleaning it. It's the least he can do for their hospitality. By the end of two weeks, he suspects that he's removed pounds upon pounds of dust from their home. It makes everything look nicer, and it gives him ample opportunity to talk to Veth about anything and everything.

That last part is his favorite. He's heard some people talk about it, when you meet someone and you click immediately. Caleb could never relate, before. Now he understands fully what they mean. It feels like they can talk, and talk, and talk, all without having to worry that they are boring each other. Veth is naturally chatty, and always has an opinion in her pocket to share with him on any subject. She never seems to get tired, and Caleb wonders what it was about her that is different. Even before, he's never been able to just... talk like this. He isn't sure why. It's not because she's a mother, as she doesn't mother him any more than a doting friend would. It isn't that she's a wife, as she doesn't dote on him quite the same way she does with Yeza. Most likely it's something purely Veth, that appeals to the part of him that's still a farm boy that finds gossip about chickens riveting.

Even with all the work and the conversation, it doesn't stop him from being a little stir crazy.

It's because he's promised himself that if he leaves their house, it's going to be for good. He has no business leaving and coming back as if he has a place there. The whole two weeks he stays inside, and his hosts haven't challenged it until now.

Veth springs it on him one morning when he's almost out of things to do. "Caleb!" She chirps. "Yeza's covering the store today while I go out and do a lot of errands, and I'm bringing Luc with me."

Caleb isn't sure what this has to do with him. "Alright, thank you for letting me know."

"I'd like if you could come with me since I could use extra hands." She says and it's like ice water trickling down his spine. "And you could learn the area if you wanted to buy anything on your way out."

That's another thing. Veth talks like he's due to leave but never presses the issue. She never asks when he's leaving, or to help him prepare to leave, or to discuss when he should leave. She only puts it out there and never pushes it. He's grateful for it, but every day he's there it feels more dangerous. Not because he feels unwelcome, but he feels too welcome. There's a part of him that's still sure it's a trap, that at some point people will walk in and take him away and smile at his face while they do. Or worse, that they are just this nice and it's going to get them killed. Then Yeza praises Caleb's handwriting, or Veth gives him a little extra at dinner, or Luc chews on a strand of his hair. Then it's easy to forget.

Going out in public though, rumors travel. What if there's a spy in town? What if the rumor travels and he has the misfortune of meeting a guard who knew him in Rexxingtrum? What if he lets something slip and Veth doesn't invite him back inside? What if this is an excuse to get rid of him and there are guards waiting to take him away as soon as Caleb's away from her husband and child? Those last thoughts hurt even more than the thought of being found by a spy.

He doesn't want to think his fast friend would sell him out like that, but Veth is an empire loyalist. It's to a degree above the normal person and he's right to be wary of that. It shows in little things, how she always asks for news of the war and packs extra treats in the packages of local guards. Caleb is fairly certain that Yeza's mentioned a small Melora shrine, but Veth ignores that talk. They don't seem to ever clash over it, but Caleb doesn't bring it up to either of them.

"Actually, I was going to offer to cut Caleb's hair today." Yeza volunteers and Caleb almost sags with relief.

"Cut your sideburns off while you're at it before they start eating your face." Veth snarks back.

"You'd miss them." Yeza scoffs, but it's in good humor.

It's then that Caleb realizes that he's been tricked into having his hair tidied. He can't mind when the other choice is having to come up with a flimsy excuse to stay inside. Yeza has Caleb sit on the floor while the halfling stands behind him. Caleb's also got on a shapeless yellow thing, shoved over his head by Yeza while Veth opens the shop for the day.

"What is this?" Caleb asks of the yellow thing.

"Veth's biggest maternity dress." Yeza says and wets his hands to run them through Caleb's hair. "You'll thank me when you don't have your hair in your trousers."

Caleb can't argue with that. Yeza's got strong, sure fingers, rubbing water through his hair and smoothing it out with a fine-toothed comb. He catches on a few tangles but is gentle about pulling through them. Caleb would like to shave too, but Yeza doesn't need to shave and Caleb doesn't know how to broach the subject. The last thing he wants is them having to spend money on a shaving kit when he's fine with his beard. He'd like to give them a little money, but he has almost nothing on him and it seems like an insult to pretend like the two silver would mean anything. He's been saving it for when he's on the street again, in hopes of being able to maybe buy something hot instead of stolen bread or scavenged fruit.

"Do you want any cut, or do you only want me to clean it up?" Yeza asks.

They don't own a large enough mirror, but Caleb can see his reflection in the teapot cabinet's glass front. His hair falls to his shoulders, but bits of it are ragged and unkempt. "Clean it up." Caleb says.

"Mind if I trim your beard, too?" Yeza asks as his scissors close around the first lock of hair. "It changes a face to have a clean and trim beard."

Caleb hesitates but nods in the middle of snips. Yeza comes around him then and takes a fine-toothed comb to pull through his beard. Yeza's scissors flash in the corner of Caleb's eye but the man holds still as they brush his skin.

Caleb is safe. Yeza is safe. Yeza is an interesting man, at that. Caleb's taken to a fast friendship with Veth like a duck to water, but Yeza is both more and less complicated. Veth for all Caleb likes her is not the kindest woman. but when she gets sharp Yeza gets ever so softer. He's just as chatty as Veth but lets her take the lead in conversations. For all the man is on the surface kind and passive, Caleb gets the feeling that Veth would be a mess without her husband.

"What are you thinking?" Yeza asks.

It startles Caleb to the point of honesty. "I was thinking that you and Veth suit each other." He says.

"Mm." Yeza turns Caleb's head again. "That's nice. You know, when Veth says she isn't a snitch, I'm also included in that."

Caleb rolls his eyes to avoid eye contact. He must be easier to read than he thought. "I'm not afraid of you two snitching on me, I'm worried that I'll be chased out of town if they know that I'm being a bum here. At least when I was on the streets I didn't hurt anyone when I got chased out."

Yeza cocks his head to the side and smiles. "Oh, I have a plan for if anyone wants to contest you being here."

"What is it?"

"I can't tell you because you'll get scared off and then Veth will be angry with me." Yeza brushes Caleb's shoulder with his hand and Caleb feels the tickle in his scalp. "There you are! Handsome as a painting, you are."

Caleb can feel himself turning red at that but checks himself in the reflection of the cabinet again. With his beard trimmed and hair cut, he does look like a proper civilized person. When he goes back on the road again it might make being unseen harder, but this kind of look takes normal maintenance. Until then, he'll see if Yeza can do this for him regularly. "Do you do this kind of thing with Veth?" Caleb asks as Yeza goes to clean his tools up.

"Gods, no. Veth's been growing her hair out for three years and won't hear about cutting it." Yeza dismisses. "Even though a little trim now and then will encourage growth."

"Will it?" Caleb asks. "How does that work?"

Veth leaves as Yeza is still explaining, and Caleb is already missing her. Yeza is good company, easy and friendly in a way that's like Veth but without the automatic comfort the woman gives him. It occurs to him then that Yeza could be a good friend and not just an accessory to Veth. Instead of being comforting, the idea leaves him feeling guilty for lingering long enough for that. He resolves then, to be kinder and more open to Yeza, and to pay them back in some sort of way. After that, he'll take the next time Veth needs a helping hand and use that as an excuse to leave.

It's a plan, no matter how it sits in his stomach like a stone.


	4. forum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentines Day
> 
> Once again, no beta, so if you see a typo or something worded oddly just pretend like it's not there. Special disclaimer because I struggled to write this and wanted to be done.

All together, Caleb doesn't own much.

He has his spellbook, which he keeps clean and orderly and guards fiercely. He has three silver and four coppers which he keeps in a sewn-in pocket on the inside of his jacket. He has his clothes, plus the hastily-sewn but warm clothes Veth made for him. He has a little pair of scissors and a small razor, both of them spares from Yeza. He has a few things he's stolen from other people, including a few silver spoons and the gold chain that was once on a pocketwatch. Those aren't for selling, but rather for if he needs to quickly bribe someone. He considers leaving the chain behind for Veth's collection as a small thanks, but odds are she won't know if he doesn't tell her.

He doesn't want to tell her. Even as she gets them both ready in the morning, he knows he should tell her. Then she'll point out to him where to buy cheap travelling gear, or pack him a lunch for the road, but he knows it'll sour their outing. He can take a little hardship on the road if it means Veth will have a good morning with him.

It's Caleb's job to mind Luc, which he's more than fine with and tucks the baby against his chest.

"Are you sure Luc won't be a bother?" Veth asks, helping fix Luc in place.

"Luc doesn't bother me." Caleb says. "I like him, actually. I didn't think I'd like babies this much but he's sweet and quick and even if he keeps waking me up in the middle of the night it's fine."

The baby in question makes a gurgle and Caleb adjusts him once more.

Something Yeza told him was that babies liked the sound of a heartbeat. So when Caleb carries him around, Caleb tucks him into his jacket so he's pressed to Caleb's chest with his little head poking out. If he swaddles Luc first and then ties the ends around his neck and back it supports Luc while leaving Caleb's hands-free. Veth then tried to copy him, but Luc's proportional to her body and it's unwieldy for her. Luc can fit in both of Caleb's hands if he cups them, making Luc only a small and noisy weight to him.

Veth says goodbye to Yeza in the morning before they go. A Veth goodbye involves a warm kiss, and a firm grasping of both her hands on Yeza's ass. Caleb rolls his eyes at it. He'd think one could get used to that, but Yeza still giggles at it like a besotted schoolboy as if it's naughty. Perhaps that's the nature of being in love. No one ever grabbed his ass, which Caleb thinks is unfair.

They leave then, and Caleb braces himself for his first round of being exposed to and questioned by people for the first time in weeks. Felderwin is a quaint little town. Veth has a story for every corner, and jumps from topic to topic in a way that to the unobservant would seem scatterbrained. Caleb is smart enough that he can see that her mind moves quickly, to the point her mouth can't keep up sometimes. They go for home goods first, and Caleb loads up on a bit of salt, oil for lamps, oil for cooking, a spool of ribbon, some sewing needles, a bundle of candles, and a few bars of soap. Veth drifts from market stall to market stall, making quick exchanges and dropping it into Caleb's basket as Luc continues to drool down his jacket.

It's strange, because no one talks to him.

It doesn't make sense. He's a strange human vagrant man in a village full of halflings. Yes, he's been secluded to the Brenatto household, but people have seen him. Were he a normal townsperson he might at least stop Veth and ask who her new friend is, but no one talks to them. He can tell there are stares burning a hole in the back of his head, but they avoid eye contact with him. Veth seems friendly enough to everyone she meets, but no one sticks around to chat. He has his own memories of places like this, back in Rexxentrum where he would go through the local markets. He would be caught up in chatter with the local merchants and linger between purchases.

Veth does nothing like that, and no one seems to want her to. It's strange enough to bother him, but he doesn't ask until they're leaving the market area and headed towards an actual store.

"Forgive me for asking." Caleb begins. "But why is everyone ignoring us?"

"Oh, that, don't worry about it." Veth says, as if it's nothing important. "But it's all my fault. I'm... notorious,"

"In what way?" Caleb asks.

"Ooooh, you know. I got in a lot of trouble when I was younger, and then when I was a teenager I had a tendency for...scenes."

"What kind of trouble?" Caleb prods.

"Mmm... stealing." Veth admits. "I had sticky fingers and would shoplift anything if I could get away with it. I almost never got caught doing it no matter how much people kept their eyes on me. I usually got caught at home, trying to hide my little trinkets."

"And what kind of scenes?" Caleb continues.

Veth winces as she pulls the door open to a strong-smelling store. He guesses it's a preserves store and follows her through it. "I'd get in very vocal screaming matches with my brothers, and they liked to rile me up too. I'd also get in a tizzy when my feelings got hurt, and it's easy to hurt my feelings." She keeps her eyes from him. "People picked on me a lot, for my looks, and for being slow, for being fat, and a few other more personal things. Once I started courting Yeza I would fly off the handle at anyone who tried to pick on him, too."

Caleb is left dumbfounded. He can't imagine anything more absurd than picking on Veth for her looks or smarts. She's quick in a way many people aren't, and he can't name a person he would find more rustically beautiful. She wouldn't ever be the subject of any paintings, but her soft cheeks and lips and heavy curves all appeal to him, so what was their problem? His hand curled around the basket he was carrying and he wondered if it would be too forward to ask for names. Caleb was no fighter, but he'd have words for these fools if he ever met them.

Veth clears her throat. "So yeah, people remember that, and they ignore me."

"Even with me here?" Caleb asks.

"They might think you're like me, if anything." Veth pays for a few jars of preserves, handing the payment to the woman manning the desk. She averts her eyes just like everyone else.

What his luck, that the most controversial and avoided couple in town were the ones to take him in. It's a layer of safety, one that he could hold onto, but that's a dangerous line of thought.

"I didn't know you had brothers." Caleb says to keep the ball rolling.

"I wish I didn't." Veth says. "Talk about something else."

It's the first time she's shut him down like that, so Caleb takes her cue and jumps right off of that conversation into something else. "Okay, does Yeza have family? What are they like?"

"Yeza's family is more old-fashioned, so he is too." Veth says. "It's a little strange, considering my family was more modern and empire-minded." Veth shrugs.

"How is he old fashioned?" Caleb asks. If anything, he'd say Yeza was the less conservative of the two of them.

"You know, he named Luc, he didn't ask my parents for permission to marry me, he likes men, he has very firm opinions about money. And every few months sneaks away to the Wildmother shrine that the town keeps as an open secret. His parents are in a polyamorous marriage, which is very old fashioned."

Caleb knows there's a lot to unpack there, but he picks the one that stuck out to him. "Is liking men old fashioned?"

Veth gives him a curious look. "Is it not that way for humans?"

"Well- I mean- it's usually assumed that if you like men and women then you should just be with a woman, so you can have kids." Caleb says. "At least that's the impression I got."

"Do you like men?" Veth asks.

"Yes." Caleb knows that at least.

"Do you like girls, too, or is it just men?"

"I like men and women." Caleb says. "I think I like women a little more, or it's easier, or- I don't know." Caleb shrugs. "Uh- but you said his parents are polyamorous? How does that work?"

"It's a little hard to explain. His mother married a man, and then that man met and fell in love with another man, and he was introduced into their relationship. It's funny because Yeza isn't sure which man actually sired him, and looking at them I'm not so sure either. He takes after his mother. His mother has a new girlfriend now, but Yeza and his siblings were grown when that happened. All four of them seem happy." Veth gives Caleb a sidelong look. "I find it hard to understand, but I've never met a happier couple. Throuple. Uh, Quadrouple?"

"That's a mouthful." Caleb says. "That's good for them. Good for them." He eyes her baskets. She's got one empty one left, but he figures it's going to be filled at the general store she's leading them to.

Sure enough, it's a dry goods store, and Veth loads up her basket with some dried meats, grains, flour, and Caleb is free to wander. The ceilings are high enough for him, but it still feels small. He wanders the store while Veth pays for her things, letting his mind wander and absently playing with Luc's hair. He's gone to sleep for now, and Caleb is mostly glad he hasn't soiled himself yet.

He stops in the middle of an aisle, eye caught by a familiar shape. He leans down to look at it, making sure to not accidentally bump Luc's head as the baby sleeps against him. The little label is written in halfling, but he doesn't need the one in common to know what it is. There's enough incense in this little shelf that he could remake Frumpkin, had he the funds. And oh, he's been missing Frumpkin quite a bit. It almost pains him to think about it. It's too much to steal all at once, and he doesn't want to risk getting Veth in trouble by shoving a few blocks in his pockets to stockpile.

"You look like you're thinking hard." Veth says at his elbow, making Caleb jump.

"Sorry." Caleb apologizes. "I was just- don't worry."

"No, no, go ahead. What's on your mind?" Veth asks. She leans against his leg and reaches up, checking Luc over where he's still held to Caleb's front.

He might as well. There's no harm in sharing with her. "There's this spell I can do." Caleb says. "It makes a familiar. Do you know what a familiar is?"

"The name sounds familiar." Veth says with a wink.

It gets a snort from him. "They're like- magical creatures that I can control, cast spells through, see through. I can make him be whatever, but I like him to be a cat."

"What kind of cat?" Veth asks.

"An orange tabby." Caleb says. "I love orange cats."

"Like my teapot?"

"Exactly like your teapot." Caleb confirms. "That's why I use it so much."

"And what's it take to make him?"

"Incense, charcoal, and time." Caleb says. "A lot of incense and charcoal, actually."

"How much?" Veth asks.

Caleb startles at that and turns away from the product in question. "Too much for you to spend on me."

"Fuck off." Veth says and shoulders at his hip, trying to move him to get to the block of material. "It's my money."

"If you give it to me I won't use it." Caleb hip checks her away from it. He can't let her blow all that on him when he's trying to steel himself to leave. If she gets him what he needs it'll be a blow to their money and he'll feel wretched if that's how he leaves them. Moreso, he knows that if he takes it then he'll have to introduce Frumpkin to the Brenatto household. He can picture Veth getting along with Frumpkin and rolling baubles across the floor for him to catch. He can picture Yeza being fond of Frumpkin's little tricks and cat-like behaviors. He can picture Veth introducing Luc to the cat, and then Caleb can have a lookout to put in Luc's room that will keep him from waking up in fear every time Luc starts hollering in the middle of the night. It's too risky. He'll get even more attached.

Veth crosses her arms and glares up at him. He glares right back. They stand at an impasse for a moment, before Veth breaks eye contact to roll her eyes and head back to the front. Caleb meanwhile stays vigilant near the incense, making sure she can't sneak it and give it to him later, up until she's out the door and he goes to follow her. It leaves her glaring at him, but the animosity goes away when they're outside in the pleasant air.

He's glad for it as they continue their shopping, only grabbing a few things at a few more stores. He doesn't want his last day with Veth to be soured. He knows this will be a good memory for when he's alone later. He needs as many good memories as possible for when he's curled up in a cold ditch and needs to stay awake so he doesn't freeze overnight.

The trip back home -to their home- is uneventful, and Caleb lets Luc down to give him back to Veth. He knows their kitchen well enough to put everything away, and his mind goes to his own things with a stone-heavy dread. His book, his money, his clothes, his baubles, and a bit of food he can take without being obtrusive. He'll be gone within the hour.

Yeza smashes that line of thought to pieces. "While you were gone I got some more things set up for you." Yeza says. "I thought you might be sick of sleeping on the living room floor."

Caleb wrinkles his brow. "What?"

Then Yeza is pushing open the door to Luc's room with Caleb and Veth peeking in behind him. Luc's crib takes up a large part of the room, leaving a bit of floor space, made smaller by the robust human-sized cot fitted against the wall.

It's like having the wind knocked out of him. Yeza explains while Caleb stands speechless. "It's a proper human-sized cot with a proper human-sized amount of padding and I put it in here! You said he keeps waking you up when he starts crying and it keeps making you freak out. I thought it might be a good idea while you're staying here if you could wake up and see he's okay." Yeza adjusts his glasses with a nervous laugh. "That might be presumptuous, but you need it."

Caleb opens his mouth and his voice comes out as a croak. "It's- thank you." Caleb says. "I'll need to remember to watch my head, right?"

"Right, because it's not for humans." Yeza says. "We can move it back into the living room if you need the higher ceiling that bad. I just thought you'd need a good place to sleep so we're not tripping over you and you can give your back a rest."

"No, that's- it's a good idea. You're right, it would put me more at ease." It twists in his chest somewhat, for Yeza to have been that thoughtful. It twists in his stomach to the point that he knows that he can't leave today, or any time soon, so he pushes his leave date for another two weeks. It's enough time he can use to fatten up a little more, find something to earn a little more money, and use their generous gift so as not to waste it.

Veth whistles. "Aw, babe, you're gonna make him cry."

Caleb snaps out of it and huffs at her. "Certainly not."

"You were!" Veth teases and twirls off "Go on then blubber-baby, help me prepare dinner and then you can try out your new bed. It's good to know what Yeza's been working on the past few days that he's been so secretive about."

There's something about Veth not knowing that Yeza was putting this together. If Caleb didn't know any better, he'd think Yeza was doing this on purpose. That's a stupid thought, and he dismisses it out of hand. The man's just kind, nothing more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for a sneak peek of the next chapter, look at the fic's summary ;)
> 
> Also, I like to think that in different races and cultures there are different ideas for what's considered old-fashioned. I like to think that halflings (at least in the players handbook) are more about community and status comes more from being able to have and maintain a large family. Yeza being more "conservative" is into things along that line, like sexual fluidity, polyamory being normal if not encouraged, and the older religions, all things that might be seen as "liberal" to the Empire. Veth then being more modern leans towards human ideas of what's appropriate, so she might seem "conservative" to a human but "modern" to a halfling.
> 
> Also once again happy Valentines day and thanks for reading!
> 
> None of this is based in canon it's just my headcanon stuff.


	5. timor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been agonizing over this for EVER so I just edited it and here it is. No beta. No warnings I'm aware of.

The longer he lives with them, the more he becomes reacquainted with the work of managing a household.

There was a time when he was younger when Bren would devour books between the endless chores of farm life. He was more suited to following his mother through tasks if they suited him. When his father was in good health he would do most of the work himself, with Bren putting his hand to it during the busier seasons. His main job otherwise was to take care of the chickens (they had quite a few), take care of the garden, and haul water when his mother needed it.

"So you don't know _anything_ about washing?" Veth asks for the sixth time, in halfling.

Caleb doesn't glare at her no matter how irritating this is getting. "Am I- doing wrong?" He tries. He's quick to remember words, but grammar and the many words they have for things is hard to keep track of. Sixteen different words for a single piece of silverware, but no word that distinguishes between a king or emperor, for example.

"That's the wrong soap for that type of cloth, and you'll have to do it over." She says, speaking slowly so he can catch every word. He's sure he understands her and so commits it to memory.

"Then what is this soap for." He speaks in common as he waves the bar at her. For every piece of laundry Caleb cleans, Veth cleans four, and she's been taking it out of his hands to redo his work half the time.

She takes it from him and answers in common. "That's for the rougher cloth things, like the curtains and covers and quilts that won't be touching the skin. It's a little greasy and it's not for finer things." 

"Why don't you pay someone to do your laundry for you?" Caleb asks, back in halfling. There were whole buildings in Rexxintrum where one could get a whole basket of clothes washed and dried and all it took was one day. Why not something like that here?

"The Laundress' place is for if you need everything to be perfect. I don't care if my whites are bleach-white. I hardly ever wear white anyway. So what if it takes a few hours every week? We can make our own bleaching products and soap and chemicals here, too." Veth says, still in common, so Caleb assumes the language game is over for now. "Now put that bar down and only use the soap I'm using until I say otherwise."

Caleb's hands are starting to feel tender from the hot water, but now they're halfway done. "Maybe your tools are too small." He says.

She flicks his nose with her wet soapy finger. "If you can use our crapper then you can use our washing tubs."

Luc makes an inquisitive sound from the pile of laundry Veth plopped him in before they got to work.

Caleb remembers his own parents doing the washing together. Bren never bothered with it. Part of it was that it was a ritual that was only for his parents, and including him would have felt awkward, so he was allowed to sit nearby and read. It would be inappropriate to pretend as that applies to Veth and Luc with him. To think that if he hadn't left home, he might have had a wife like her and a son like Luc. Probably not an actual halfling, but a robust and clever woman and an energetic and clever baby. He can never imagine it being Veth and Luc. Not for long, because the few times he's gone down that line of thought Yeza would pop up in them and it leaves Caleb feeling sour.

Yeza, though, is different from Veth and Luc. Veth is the fastest friend he's had in his life, but Yeza is a different kind of good friend. Veth's so clever, but Yeza has a hand on technical jargon and he's a good listener. It's become a habit now to spend time with him down in the basement just to have Yeza talk through ideas at him, and for Caleb to do the same. He also adores Veth with all his heart, and when he gets going on that subject they can go for up to an hour. He's sure if Veth knew she'd be mortified, so he doesn't tell her despite the fact he'd like to grab her and tell her how wonderful she is at every chance he can get.

"Caleb." Veth says. He looks up at her, but her eyes are steady on the water. "Keep scrubbing, and don't react to what I'm about to tell you."

Caleb nods and does as she says.

"Good. Two Crownsguard are approaching us now, so I'm going to look up and act surprised and you're going to do the same." She says, and Caleb feels a dart of real palpable fear down his spine. "Remember our story," she says, and squeezes his hand through the wash-water.

Veth looks up then, and she's such a bad liar, but her too-bright voice and cheerfulness masks it fine. "Mornin! Is it that time of the year already?" and Caleb turns to follow her line of sight.

Definitely Crownsguard, suped-up in the good travel-armor they wear when they need to go far from the capitol. And they are from the capitol, their sigils say as such, but they're not aggressive. Two men, one older and smiling, one younger and serious. The smiling one is also as broad as a barrel and Caleb suspects could snap them in half with a wave of his hand.

"Morning to you too, Mrs Brenatto." Says the big smiley man. "We're six days ahead of schedule, actually, but I suspect we'll get back to normal soon, what with so many people not prepared in time."

The second one just nods, his eyes fixed on Luc instead of Veth. Caleb wants to throw his body over Veth's baby if it might keep him safe. His heart is pounding, fire flicking behind his eyes, on the tip of his tongue if it might buy Luc and his mother a moment.

Veth stands up and brushes her hands off. "It's good to see you, Charles."

The crownsguard -Charles?- gives her a winning smile. "It's good to see you too, Elizaveth." He says, and leans over to look at Luc. "It's good to see your babe's made it so far. The first year is so delicate. Boy or girl?"

"Boy." Veth stands up. Caleb is still reeling at _Elizaveth_. It distracts from the palpable terror. "His name's Luc."

"He's healthy." Charles nods.

Luc makes a sound of exclamation, hands reaching up towards any adult that can grab him.

The second man cracks a smile at that, and Veth picks Luc up before either of the men can.

"And you." She extends a hand towards the second man. "May I know your name?"

"Aster's the name, Ma'am." The second crownsguard shakes her hand. "I've heard a great bit from Swan and Charles." The man's eyes skate towards Caleb. "Perhaps your friend should go home, if we're going to be talking about your taxes inside."

Something like relief blooms in his chest. Right, it's taxing season. Caleb never participated, it was always handled by the academy. That is, if they ever paid taxes. No one ever answered him when he asked.

"He lives with us now, actually." Veth says. "It'll be easier to explain inside and I can start the tea in the meantime. I assume Swan's already inside?"

"You assume correctly." Charles says, still all smiles, and Aster does another nod.

It never occurred to Caleb to think that one might make friends with the reapers. Then, the Brenattos are strange people, so he follows Veth inside and doesn't puke into the teapot like his body is wrenching to do. Because Yeza is sitting at their table with a woman in a black cloak with gold trim and Caleb's vision swims. A large book lays open on the table in front of her, with some smaller books and bundles of papers orbiting the book like little moons. Caleb's spellbook is in plain view where it's on their little bookshelf and he tries to keep his hands from shaking.

The two crownsguard take their seats next to the reaper, a casual grunt and smile shared with the woman. Caleb watches out of the corner of his eye for when Veth takes a seat across from them next to Yeza, and the woman reaches out and brushes a finger across one of Luc's chubby cheeks. Caleb wants to yank the baby away and make a run for it, but that is the wrong instinct.

But the woman only coos at Luc. "He's healthy, for being born so early." She praises. "Is he named yet?"

"Luc." Veth says.

"Does it have a meaning?" The reaper asks.

"It means Lucky." Yeza says.

"Indeed." The reaper gives him a sly smile, one that Caleb isn't quite able to understand. "And this handsome young man, who's he? A business associate?" She asks.

The story is on Caleb's tongue. "Let me at least sit down?" Caleb asks as he sets out teacups.

The story is on his tongue as he finishes pouring and takes a seat. He was a simple bookeeper from Rexxenntrum, who did some off-the-books work for the Brenattos and struck up an acquaintanceship with Veth. Then he lost his job, had nowhere to go, and no real paper trail because he was a poor boy from a poor family with a poor but smart man's job. Thus Veth offered him a place to stay in exchange for more help around the house.

Yeza speaks first. "He's our new boyfriend."

The reaper's eyebrows shoot up, and the two crownsguard exchange bewildered looks over the reaper's head. Veth is _such_ a bad liar, her surprise is written all over her face, and Caleb is sure he isn't any better.

Yeza rolls his eyes. "Alright, let me start from the beginning. So Caleb here is from Rexxintrum, did some... what was it? Record keeping?"

"Shipment bookkeeping." Caleb says. "Things going in or out, keeping an eye on the door of a warehouse, and so on."

The reaper wrinkles her nose. "Ah, my condolences. I've had the misfortune of seeing the zombies they put at the door of those places."

Veth jumps in while Caleb is contemplating if that's a compliment or not. "I came into contact with Caleb when one of my letters accidentally got to him and he gave me some very good advice. We struck up an acquaintanceship after that." At least the nerves in her voice can be read as embarrassment, rather than the lie it is.

"And then I lost my job to a better zombie." Caleb says. The reaper nods. "I had nowhere to go, but Veth offered me a place here, so here I am for the time being."

The reaper nods again. "And now you're all.. involved?"

"I'm as surprised as you are." Veth says, too genuine, but the reaper gives her a wry smile at that.

"How did that happen?" She asks, directly at Caleb.

"I can't tell you." Caleb says. "At some point, I woke up and I realized I belong here." It's also too genuine, but if Veth or Yeza pick it up they don't let on.

Then the reaper's eyes turn towards Yeza for her next question. "Do you think you'll seek legitimacy for this relationship any time soon?" she asks, and her voice is subtle but crafty in a way that makes Caleb feel cold.

Yeza catches what Caleb missed. "Legally, there's no way to legitimize our relationship. We know that." He says because of course, Yeza follows the Wildmother and that's not legal. So there's no legal ceremony or religion that would recognize a three-way marriage.

The reaper nods, then goes thoughtful. "What's your plan if Elizaveth gets pregnant by him?" She asks.

Veth speaks before thinking as she tends to do. "Can humans get halflings pregnant?" She asks back.

The reaper gives Veth an indulgent look. "Humans have the habit of being able to get anything pregnant, you'll find."

Yeza chuckles, a real sense of nervousness. "We can explain anything. My dad's a redhead, my great grandmother had blue eyes."

At this, the reaper raises an eyebrow. "Oh, so _that_ one's your sire now?"

Yeza shrugs. "Who's to say? It's an equal chance." He says.

The reaper rolls her eyes at the comment and makes a mark in one of the books. "Very well. I suppose we will tax the three of you as we did with your own parents." She says.

The lie gets bought, then. He lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding and takes a sip of his tea to try and calm down.

The handling of their affairs takes less time than Caleb would think. Afterward, the reaper lingers for a few more minutes with Luc in her arms and Yeza at her hip, chatting each other's ear off. Caleb is on edge the whole time, eyes trained on Luc, and half-aware of Veth leaning against his leg. She does that so often, but now this woman thinks they're involved, so Caleb lets a hand play in her hair and he says it's for appearances.

Then the reaper hands Luc back to Yeza, gives Yeza an affectionate pat on the shoulder, and leaves them all to go to the inn next door.

The first thing out of Caleb's mouth isn't to ask Yeza what the fuck he thought he was doing. The first thing out of his mouth is "So your name is Elizaveth?" He asks the woman in question. "Why not go by Eliza?"

"The name my parents gave me at birth was just Veth, but my brothers thought it was great fun to call me Elizaveth or Vethany." She says and sounds exhausted. "One of them told Swan my name was Elizaveth when she was getting the names of everyone in town straight during her takeover as the reaper of Felderwin. And it's stuck ever since with her and her crownsguard. But I'm Veth. That's how I sign everything. I'm only Elizaveth on our taxes." She sighs, following his lead in not yelling at Yeza for now.

"Is Swan her name?" Caleb asks.

"Moriah Swan." Yeza nods. "She's known me since I was a boy. Saw me grow up, practically, since she's been the reaper of Felderwin for fifteen years. Had to deal with my mother and fathers then, too, so she wasn't too scandalized."

"Right." Veth says. "Yeza?"

"Yes?"'

"What the _fuck._ " She stresses. "Swan is a gossip and so is Charles! You know this. Soon the whole town will think we're involved, and soon our families are going to find excuses to tromp through and we can't say we lied, can we?"

"I'm sure we can." Yeza says. "Look, this threw them off the trail, probably for good."

Caleb cuts in. "So, what, you thought you'd give them a weird enough story and they wouldn't look into me?"

"Only you two think it's weird." Yeza says.

It leaves Caleb and Veth in a horrifically awkward silence while they finish the laundry. It's for the best, as he needs to think. A long time ago, he would have wanted it to be true. That he lucked into finding a wife as wonderful as Veth, or a husband as kind as Yeza, with a clever little boy and enough money to not have to worry. Good neighbors, good laughs, good food, in a good location, and simple ambitions, it makes his heart hurt. There's the question of how to fake being in love with Veth and Yeza, and how sour that sits in his stomach. Veth is likely the best friend he's ever had in his life, Yeza is good down to his core, and he doesn't want to have to pretend that they're anything else if they're not.

"You used the wrong soap again." Veth says and pitches the garment he just finished right back into the washtub. "Do it over."

Caleb rubs a soapy hand over his face. "How are we going to deal with this?"

Veth's eyes skate down to the water. "I don't know what Yeza thought he was doing. It's too late now, so I won't hold this over him. For long. I guess we pretend. What else can we do?"

"I don't know." Caleb says. What he does know is that Yeza's not getting any tea the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smugly adds "fake relationship" to the fic tags


End file.
